It’s pretty rare that I regret a purchase for too long. Frequently I buy something, listen to it once, put it on the shelf, and then return to it later, but still appreciate it all the same.
But there are, and have been, a number of purchases that I’ve picked up and wondered since why the fuck I bought them at some point down the line – and we’re not talking about pop albums or singles you bought when you were a kid, either. So, why not join me: and admit you’ve made some pretty misguided music purchases in the past (you can comment below, of course).
Enjoy/endure the Spotify playlist of shame linked to the right (missing two tracks, but I’m sure eight is enough).
I Get Wet
Wow, we all got done for suckers with this one. A two-minute piece of gonzoid rock from a singer who may or may not have been a record company construct, but either way didn’t have a single other song that was any good, whatsoever. And not to mention, Party Hard didn’t half outlive it’s welcome pretty quickly, too. I remember seeing him live, just about, at Rock City in Nottingham once. I saw the first ten seconds, walked out to head downstairs, and then returned to the main room to catch the last ten seconds. And that was more than enough.
The Gift of Game
One of Daisy’s, this one – I never bought this album, thankfully. A pretty video for the monster hit Butterfly (that must have had a hefty budget), and it had nothing else going for it, as it turned out. Ultra-polished “bad guy” rap-soft-rock, and a singer called Shifty Shellshock. Oh dear. Let’s hope the rumoured third album never happens, eh?
Chocolate Starfish & The Hotdog Flavored Wate
Guess what – there’s more nu-metal. Not surprisingly, of course – in hindsight, there was some real shit that was released, and far too many of us are guilty of lapping it up. Including this. But admit it – many of you will have bought this too, and hopefully you’ll also be wondering how on earth you were conned into buying it. But why? Even Rollin’ sucks pretty badly, and the rest of it is just Fred Durst going “will this do”? Somehow 12 million people bought this.
Other than emo-forerunner Last Resort, I can’t remember a single thing from this album. Other than that it was whiny, emotional rock that really was rather charmless. Oh, and Daisy and various others in Sheffield have all long since proven that you can do the Macarena to it.
God, this is only six years old? I thought it was from longer ago than that. Either way, this is an album I bought on spec following hearing one track (the still-kinda-good Bleeding Mascara), and the rest of the album was, well, not very good. In fact I’m not sure if I’ve ever listened to the whole album right through more than once, either, which perhaps tells you a little more about this album.
Devil Without A Cause
Oh god, why did I buy this? Honestly, I have no idea. Cowboy was silly fun to start with, but I can’t recall having listened to any of this in years. Trailer trash rap-rock that got even worse with later albums – remember American Bad Ass or the horrendous All Summer Long? I’m more than a little ashamed that I bought this.
(No longer available)
I first heard Rachel Haywire’s work on a compilation somewhere – I forget where – and it sounded interesting, so I thought the EP might be worth a look. A good idea, that seemed a great concept on paper…but sorry, it was all a little toothless. If you are going to come across with a punk attitude, it kinda helps to keep some aside for the songs.
2000 Years Of Human Error
Best known for being the only signing to Marilyn Manson’s short-lived record label, this lot are still going, remarkably. Although I never bothered after the first album, and I can’t recall a single song from this in my head other than the brilliant opener The Reckoning – a track so good that this album was nearly excluded from this list. But then I skipped through bits of this album again, and it was put back in the list. In particular for that awful massacre of Eleanor Rigby.
Over the years I’ve become extremely picky with my musical purchases, and usually use the internet to ensure I hear things first. After all, now almost every band exists on the internet somewhere, there is barely any reason to buy “blind” any more. I broke my rule here, though, and I’m fucked if I can recall when I bought this, either. They call themselves “industrial rave”, and “shit ‘industrial’ dance” might be a better description. Perhaps I’m just not following the trends any more, and I’m actually missing out by listening to this more. I hope not.
Finally…an album that I really had high hopes for, but after only one listen I knew I’d made a big mistake. Previous album Dos_Unit ruled – particularly the brutal dancefloor stylings of Kill The Fakes but when this came out, it was a long time in coming, and it was a pretty poor and weak version of the pulverising industrial dancefloor mayhem that their first album was. Oh, and Violent Freaks 2007 was awful, and made me wonder why they bothered re-releasing it, frankly – it was fine as it was!